The PA Dutch (actually Germans) make up a large part of the areas that I travel.
They are kind of a unique bunch, when you are selling to them it's garbage, but
when you are buying from them it's gold.  Well there IS such a thing as the
Pennsylvania Dutch Handbook.  But it's a well guarded secret that very few outsiders
ever get to see. However (and I won't bore you with the sordid details) I managed
to get a look at a copy and quickly copy down a few notes on the care and use of
tools.  Kinda interesting, ya?  If I get another look, I'll add more.  There is lots!

1. If von roofing nail vill hold a hammer head on, den tree vill hold it all the better, ya?

2. Ya paid goot money for dat name stamp so'z ya might as vell get yer money's worth
out of it.

3. Chisel handles are optional ya knowz.

4. Chisels vit or vit out handles are good for hammering vit.

5. Never use a chisel as a pry bar unless you ain't gotz anyting else handly.

6. A chisel verks real vell as a paint stirrer. Ya don't even have to vipe it off vhen
you are done.

7. A ruler can be used as a paint stirrer as vell, as long as ya wipe most of it off vhen
you are done.

8. Da best screwdriver weighs at least a pound and has claws at da udder end.

9. Vhat ve can't screw together, ve can alvays veld.

10. An axe should be used only as an axe, unless ya need it for soomtin else den it's okay
to use it for dat until the handle comes off, den you can use it for a splitting vedge.

11. Von can never have too big off a hammer.

12.  Anythink da blacksmith can do, I can do's cheaper.

 All for now!

Back to the Bench Top
Last Updated 5/04/2006

Copyright 2006 Anthony V Seo All Rights Reserved